They say two things were not distributed evenly across mankind: beauty and intellect. The massive discrepancies in the latter are covered in this article, leaving you pondering, “should I laugh or cry?” The jury is still out on that. Some people are so dumb, they have you second-guessing: they make you question your own intellect and sanity. Oh, the humanity.
These stories were found in I Am Not Just A Teacher by Robert J. Denise.
Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of six, nine or twelve Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager at the counter.
‘You don’t?’ I replied. ‘We only have six, nine or twelve,’ was the reply.
‘So I can’t order a half a dozen nuggets, but I can order six?’
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets (unbelievable but sadly true). Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener, and she said they didn’t have any, only Splenda and sugar.
I was checking out at a local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those ‘dividers’ that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get mixed up. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the ‘divider’, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, ‘Do you know how much this is?’
I said to her ‘I’ve changed my mind; I don’t think I’ll buy that today’. She said ‘OK,’ and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened but the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left.
The ATM ‘Thingy’
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM ‘thingy.’ Keep shuddering.
The Remote ‘Thingy’
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. ‘Do you need some help?’ I asked.
She replied, ‘I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocked. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?’
‘Hmmm, I don’t know. Do you have an alarm too?’ I asked.
‘No, just this remote thingy,’ she answered, holding it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key to manually unlock the door, I replied, ‘Why don’t you drive over there and check about the batteries. It’s a long walk…’
Paper Isn’t The Only Thing That’s Blank
Several years ago, we had an intern who was not too swift.
One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, ‘I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?’
‘Just use paper from the photocopier’, the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five ‘blank’ copies.
God, help us all.
Some Things Are Worse Than Death
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants.
The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, ‘I just gave him some ant killer…’
‘RUSH HIM TO EMERGENCY RIGHT AWAY’
Some people, huh.